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How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling

father discipling on son


When your ‘mom voice’ is so loud, that even your neighbors brush their teeth and get ready for bed…
Have you asked nicely, requested politely, and then demanded with a red face to ultimately scream your head off to get your child to do something for you? Let’s face it. It’s happened to the best of us and it’s downright irritating to ask your kids to do something and they just refuse to listen!

Now, as parents, we know that we can’t get our children to listen to us all the time but, there are some surefire ways to get them to listen most of the time, and that too without yelling.

1. Be a proactive parent.

It’s always a good idea to tell children what is expected out of them ahead of time. Such as, they can watch one television show and will need to turn off the television right after or that they need to finish their dinner before they ask for dessert.

2. Get connected.

Are you filling your child’s emotional cup on a daily basis because if you’re not, then they are less likely to comply with you? Get connected to them by spending 15 minutes daily with them by giving them your undivided attention. You’ll see a world of a difference in the way they start listening.

3. Are their needs met?

A child who is hungry, tired, anxious or overstimulated will have a harder time listening and following directions. So, ask yourself if your child’s needs are being met before expecting them to listen to you.

4. Start using ‘can’ instead of ‘cannot’.

Imagine having to hear what you cannot do day after day. You cannot play outside, you cannot watch TV, and you cannot jump like that on the sofa. It’s upsetting and it’s actually hard for children to follow. So, rather than telling your children what they cannot do, tell them what they can do instead. Such as sit still on the sofa or you can play outside once dinner is finished.

5. Be consistent.

If you make promises with your children then make sure you fulfill them so they can rely on you for the next time. If you continually break promises, there is a chance to break the trust your kids have in you and they will be less likely to listen to you. And, being consistent also means not backing off with consequences when children fail to listen. If they don’t face consequences for not listening the first time, they will probably do the same thing again.

6. Practice self-care.

If you are well rested and in a good place emotionally, you will be able to respond to your child in a calm and empathetic way. Remember, the way you behave sets the tone for the relationship you have with your child. So, if you are able to listen, respond calmly and take interest in them, they will also behave in a similar manner with you. Yelling on the other hand will shut the child down and make them less responsive towards you.