No two individuals are ever the same. That saying couldn’t be truer when describing children because as similar as they seem sometimes, they are unique and special in their own ways.
When you scan a group of kids of various ages, there are usually some who love making friends, getting along with others easily, love to chat, laugh, and play with other children. The extroverts if you will. Then there are others who are quieter, shyer, ones not so keen on making friends and seem to be really enjoying their own company. The introverts.
Now, introverts are these amazing, talented, and loving children but they are often made to feel as if something is wrong with them (even by their parents) because they tend to stay a little reserved and feel more comfortable in mellow environments. For introverts, external stimulation such as large gatherings, laughing loudly, or even making friends can range from overwhelming to just downright torture. So, they simply function better when it’s quieter and calmer.
Parents, especially those who are extrovert themselves tend to worry and try to change their introvert children. He’s too shy, she doesn’t make friends easily, he is happier playing on his own…as great as it is for kids to be social butterflies, it’s not something that makes all children happy.
So, here’s a guide on how to understand and nurture our introvert children:
- There is a neurological difference between introverts and extroverts.
Introverts have a nervous system that generally reacts more to what is going on around them so they actually feel more comfortable when less is happening. That’s where you will see a behavioral difference where an introvert child would prefer to read or draw quietly while the extrovert child would rather play with a group of noisy kids.
- Not all introverted children are shy.
Shyness stems more from self-consciousness and being afraid of being judged while being an introvert is more of relishing and enjoying the silence in the noisy world all around us.
- Introverts fare pretty well with lesser number of friends.
It’s true that larger groups of people make introverts shut down but when paired up with one or two other friends, introvert kids do really well. It gives them more time to process their thoughts and articulate them into words when they are around less people. Remember it is the quality that counts, not the quantity.
- Talk to your child’s teacher about his/her introversion.
If your child’s teacher repeatedly points out that your child doesn’t show enough class participation in class or doesn’t answer questions aloud, then it’s time to discuss your child’s introversion. Let the teacher know that the child doesn’t speak in class, not because they are inattentive or disinterested but because they actually learn more by observing and listening.
- Make sure your child doesn’t go unheard.
In a world where louder people generally get what they want more quickly and easily, it is important to teach your child to express their thoughts and speak up when needed. This also means that you really need to pay extra attention to all the things that are being left unsaid.
- Many times your child will feel extra tired.
Socializing, going to school, or even taking part in a new activity can be especially draining for introverts. Chances are that after doing these, they will require some quiet and alone time to recharge.
What You Can Do Next?
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Register for my free training, ‘How To Bring Peace and Calm To Your Home & Help Support Your Child’s Emotions Without Resorting To Yelling”.
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You will get some great information but also if there is a fit you will be offered a spot in our Masterclass 6 Month Program.
ABOUT THE FOUNDER
Internationally Recognised Emotional Literacy & Mindfulness Expert Tenille Bentley is the founder of The Emotional Literacy and Mindfulness Academy and the author of the children’s emotional literacy books with Jazzy and Pinky and The Energy Ball. Giving children a wonderful introduction to understanding their emotions and what to do with them.
Tenille has been featured on Channel 9 News and other major outlets. Her work has been recognized in the community by The Governor of Western Australia, The Prime Minister of Australia, and Australian Financial Review.
As a child, she experienced severe anxiety and emotional traumas as well as bullying which left her feeling isolated and unable to understand why she was feeling the way she did. As an adult, this impacted her ability to make healthy decisions because she didn’t have the tools to understand her emotions.
This is why she is passionate about equipping parents with the tools to support their children to make better decisions in life and healthy ones to help support and create a balanced home life.
