As a parent, one often suffers from the thought of not doing enough or not doing enough of what is really needed. Doing even the slightest bit for yourself seems like the most selfish act you could think of doing and not taking time out for yourself just leads to more and more burnout. How can you create a balance between caring for your children and caring for yourself? How can you find a way out of feeling guilty for simply having human tendencies? It is definitely not an easy task, but it is absolutely possible to walk this fine line. In this post, we will talk about 5 ways to cope with the feeling of parental guilt.
1. End the Comparisons
Everyone’s situation is unique, their children are different, and so is their own personality. When all these factors come together, if you look at the situation from a practical perspective, there is no one correct way to go about it. Someone else’s solution may be completely wrong for you and someone else’s coping mechanism may as well just make things worse for you. That is why, even though it is good to ask for advice and look towards others for inspiration, the moment you start making comparisons, your parental guilt will start kicking. So, make a conscious effort to not do so and your parental guilt will decrease.
2. Give the Little Wins Credit
We often get so caught up in trying to be perfect that we trivialize our own little victories. We tend to forget that it is the little victories that sum up to make the big victories. If we want to ensure stress reduction then we have to make sure we pay attention to every single win we have throughout the day as a parent.
3. Self-Compassion
A little mindfulness goes a long way. Being kinder to yourself simply because you are trying yourself also goes a long way. On your journey towards being a good parent and making sure everyone’s emotional needs are met, do not forget your own. Be compassionate towards yourself and give yourself a little pat on the back for your own efforts regularly in order to lessen your parental guilt.
4. Adjust Your Expectations
In order to cope with parental guilt, it is very essential to have practical expectations. We all want to be perfect parents but to be very honest, that is just not possible. That is why do not expect yourself to be able to live to the standard of a “perfect” parent because such a standard does not exist. Take baby steps. Expect yourself to get less angry. Expect your child to be compliant sometimes, happy most of the time, instead of all the time. When these practical expectations are met regularly, you will be able to better cope with parental guilt.
5. Find Your Community
Even though you most definitely have to stay away from the evil of comparison, it is also important that you do not isolate yourself with your thoughts regarding parental guilt. Talk to other parents, your friends, or anyone you feel can relate with you on the subject. Let it out, vent, rant and without a doubt, this will lead to you feeling better and more confident regarding your parenting capabilities.
What You Can Do Next?
1. Subscribe to our Newsletter
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2. Register for my FREE Training (for children 5 – 9yrs)
Register for my free training, ‘How To Bring Peace and Calm To Your Home & Help Support Your Child’s Emotions Without Resorting To Yelling”.
I will support you with some easy tips to help you and your family, as well as provide you with some potential solutions in a free strategy session.
You will get some great information but also if there is a fit you will be offered a spot in our Masterclass 6 Month Program.
ABOUT THE FOUNDER
Internationally Recognised Emotional Literacy & Mindfulness Expert Tenille Bentley is the founder of The Emotional Literacy and Mindfulness Academy and the author of the children’s emotional literacy books with Jazzy and Pinky and The Energy Ball. Giving children a wonderful introduction to understanding their emotions and what to do with them.
Tenille has been featured on Channel 9 News and other major outlets. Her work has been recognized in the community by The Governor of Western Australia, The Prime Minister of Australia, and Australian Financial Review.
As a child, she experienced severe anxiety and emotional traumas as well as bullying which left her feeling isolated and unable to understand why she was feeling the way she did. As an adult, this impacted her ability to make healthy decisions because she didn’t have the tools to understand her emotions.
This is why she is passionate about equipping parents with the tools to support their children to make better decisions in life and healthy ones to help support and create a balanced home life.
