I’d like to think that my husband and I have a fairly good relationship. We laugh together; we spend quality time together and even cook together. But, there is one thing that we simply cannot agree on. And, that’s the way we both discipline and handle our children.
I hate to admit that I’m the yeller in the relationship. As most mothers, I feel that I have a lot on my plate. From managing the household to work meetings, soccer practices and doctor’s appointments; I feel like I’m juggling it all at high-speed. When my children don’t respond in the way I was expecting or make me repeat something a thousand times, I usually lose my cool and start yelling.
My husband on the other hand is much more calm and collected. He can usually reason with the kids or sometimes he is able to divert their energy into more meaningful tasks so they stop whatever they are doing to annoy me. He is much more laid back and relaxed when things don’t go as expected.
This is where our disagreement comes in. I’m too strict, he says. And, I feel he is not attentive enough towards our kids. Our disciplining sessions regularly take a back seat because we end up arguing with each other about who is parenting the ‘right’ way.
If you and your partner also disagree with each other’s parenting style, just know that it is something very common and something many parents struggle with. The fact that you’re even trying to come up with solutions is a great start. Here is how you can stop fighting with each other and work together to be better parents to your children.
- Styles of parenting- There is not just one right way of parenting. According to several studies, there are four different parent styles. You may be more of one and your partner might be a combination of the other three. There are innumerable ways to parent your child the ‘right’ way. Understand the differences and appreciate that each parenting style can bring something beneficial to the table.
- Work together – Don’t think that just because your partner has a different way of thinking, that he/she is working against you. As parents, you are both working as a team to raise strong, independent and amazing kids. Keep your objective in mind and don’t lose focus by arguing with each other. Work together to create rules for the entire family to follow and consequences for not following through that you both agree on.
- Don’t disagree in front of your children. Even if you don’t think your partner is doing the right thing at the time, don’t let your kids know. When kids know that you don’t agree, they will pick sides or disregard what you have to say. In front of your children, act as a team and back up each other. You can always connect with each later on and talk to each other privately to handle your disagreement.
What You Can Do Next
1. Subscribe to our Newsletter
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2. Register for my FREE Training (for children 5 – 9yrs)
Register for my free training, ‘How To Bring Peace and Calm To Your Home & Help Support Your Child’s Emotions Without Resorting To Yelling”.
I will support you in some easy tips to help you and your family, as well as provide you with some potential solutions in a free strategy session.
You will get some great information but also if there is a fit you will be offered a spot in our Masterclass 6 Month Program.
ABOUT THE FOUNDER
Internationally Recognised Emotional Literacy & Mindfulness Expert Tenille Bentley is the founder of The Emotional Literacy and Mindfulness Academy and the author of the children’s emotional literacy books with Jazzy and Pinky and The Energy Ball. Giving children a wonderful introduction to understanding their emotions and what do with them.
Tenille has been featured on Channel 9 News and other major outlets. Her work has been recognised in the community by The Governor of Western Australia, The Prime Minister of Australia and Australian Financial Review.
As a child she experienced severe anxiety and emotional traumas as well as bullying which left her feeling isolated, and unable to understand why she was feeling the way she did. As an adult this impacted her ability to make healthy decisions because she didn’t have the tools to understand her emotions.
Which is why she is passionate about equipping parents with the tools to support their children to make better decisions in life and healthy ones to help support and create a balanced home life.